Breaking!

Washington, DC. Tea Party members demand Boehner be replaced with life-sized cheese sculpture of Nathan Bedford Forrest.

© 2012 Kona Lowell

GOP Makes Gun Control Offer

Washington, DC. Republicans stunned Washington insiders this afternoon by taking the lead in the gun control debate as they made an offer to partially ban assault weapons, large ammunition clips and shoulder-held rocket launchers.

"We are all grieved by the tragedy in Connecticut," said John Boehner (R-OH), "and as Republicans we want to take the first step in solving the problem of the wrong people having massive weaponry."

The White House responded immediately by stating that the GOP offer was a non-starter.

"The President appreciates Mr Boehner and the Republicans taking a first step on this critical issue," said Jay Carney, White House Press Secretary, "but does not believe that the exception of making assault weapons, large ammunition clips and should-held rocket launchers available to only people making over $250,000 per year is a reasonable answer."

"So you're saying this offer is dead?"

"Yes, Chuck. And we also disagree that the exception should include fetuses, too."

©2012 Kona Lowell

Republican Think Tank

Republican think tank? Oh, I get it! That's like a whorehouse for the impotent.

©2012 Kona Lowell

End of the World Party

My wife received a call last night from a good friend who is planning an End of the World Party. The conversation went something like this:

"Thursday night? I can't be there! I have to work in the morning!"

"But the world is going to end Friday."

"The world can't end Friday! I have to work! Can't we have the party on the weekend?"

"No, because the world is ending Friday!"

"The world can't end on a weekday. I have to work."

So, there you go Mayans. Better luck next age.

©2012 Kona Lowell

Tea Party Leaderless???

Dick Armey resigns commission in Dick Army. 

©2-12 Kona Lowell

No Billionaire Left Behind

Here's a little graphic you can use if you like.