Monday, April 22, 2013

Miranda Rights

Tweet #700

Apparently Miranda Rights are more than the freedom to sing and dance with large amounts of fruit on one's head. My mistake.

©2013 Kona Lowell

Saturday, April 20, 2013

The Republicans: Deliverers of Justice

Washington, DC. Led by Lindsey Graham (R-SC), Republicans are calling on the Obama administration to declare Boston bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev an enemy combatant, thereby allowing him to be held, questioned and tortured indefinitely.

"Yeah, we pretty much suck at thwarting terrorism or capturing those responsible, but we know how to deal with them, once someone else gets 'em," Graham stated. "Waterboarding is great, but I sorta like the car battery hooked up to the testicles. You really can't hear the screaming with all that water in their mouths."

Yet Republicans remain unfazed by the Obama administration's successes in the intelligence arena.

"Okay, so he took out the Somali pirates and rescued the sailors. And got bin Laden. And his administration has thwarted numerous plots. Okay, they got the Boston guys in three days," said Peter King (R-NY), "but we know how to respond. Take 9-11 for example. We responded immediately. By attacking Iraq. Boom!"

"Yeah, okay, so Bush didn't really think catching Osama bin Laden was particularly important, but he did start the longest war in American history," said John McCain (R-AZ), "You gotta give us credit for something. At least we know how to keep our troops busy."

"All I want to know is when we are going to bomb Chechnya and where it is on the map," said Senator Kelly Ayotte (R-NH). "I heard it was near Georgia. Must be down there by Florida."

©2013 Kona Lowell

Friday, April 19, 2013

Thank You

Tweet #686

The Boston police thank Wayne LaPierre and the NRA for making sure the Tsarnaev bros' 2nd Amendment rights were not infringed.

©2013 Kona Lowell

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Note to Mitch

Tweet #652

Note to Mitch: Watergate was not a case of someone standing in the hallway overhearing a conversation. You're welcome.

©2013 Kona Lowell

That does it!

Tweet #650

That does it! I'm never voting for Obama for president again!

©2013 Kona Lowell

Wednesday, April 10, 2013


Tweet #650

The NRA hates background checks, because everyone knows checks and stripes don't go together.

©2013 Kona Lowell


Tweet #645

Why does the GOP use the filibuster so often? Because sticking your fingers in your ears and singing "La la la la la" is too obvious.

©2013 Kona Lowell