Saturday, April 20, 2013

The Republicans: Deliverers of Justice

Washington, DC. Led by Lindsey Graham (R-SC), Republicans are calling on the Obama administration to declare Boston bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev an enemy combatant, thereby allowing him to be held, questioned and tortured indefinitely.

"Yeah, we pretty much suck at thwarting terrorism or capturing those responsible, but we know how to deal with them, once someone else gets 'em," Graham stated. "Waterboarding is great, but I sorta like the car battery hooked up to the testicles. You really can't hear the screaming with all that water in their mouths."

Yet Republicans remain unfazed by the Obama administration's successes in the intelligence arena.

"Okay, so he took out the Somali pirates and rescued the sailors. And got bin Laden. And his administration has thwarted numerous plots. Okay, they got the Boston guys in three days," said Peter King (R-NY), "but we know how to respond. Take 9-11 for example. We responded immediately. By attacking Iraq. Boom!"

"Yeah, okay, so Bush didn't really think catching Osama bin Laden was particularly important, but he did start the longest war in American history," said John McCain (R-AZ), "You gotta give us credit for something. At least we know how to keep our troops busy."

"All I want to know is when we are going to bomb Chechnya and where it is on the map," said Senator Kelly Ayotte (R-NH). "I heard it was near Georgia. Must be down there by Florida."

©2013 Kona Lowell

1 comment:

  1. 1. G fkg Dumbya, waited 6 months for world approval to go after Bin Laden... That is not fast.. just cowardly. NO American President ever acted like that ever!
    2. 911 happened under a GOP Watch... what does that speak or say? They are responsible and accountable to the American People for Thousands of American Deaths... the GOP learned NOTHING from Pearl Harbor.
    3. G Fkg dumbya, had prior reports of the pre planned attacks of 911 upon America and failed to keep America safe from terrorism.
    4. G dumbya , said he was too busy reading dr suess and eating an omlet, to care about the whereabouts of bin laden six months after the attacks and carrying a bullhorn around ...not to mention his mission accomplished of fkg up Americas economy and looting 2.3 Trillion prior to the 911 attacks.
    5. Republikkkraps are no longer in charge of the NEO CONservative Corporatist Party . Hence, Alan Simpson, Chuck Hagel.
    6. Torture & Secret war prisons and war crimes, all hidden from the people , because anyone was threatened with being held as a terrorist if they knew something, and it would be called a LEAK.... or funding and helping the Terrorist if the Media timely made the American People aware to prevent such further dictatorship and war crimes by the BIG GOP GOVT take over of America.
    End results, Trickle down fk u nomics...