Friday, November 30, 2012

Reagan & Jesus

How is Reagan like Jesus? Republicans ignore things he said and did that they hate, too.

©2012 Kona Lowell

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

McCain Question Goes Unanswered

John McCain still upset that Susan Rice can't answer his question, "What is love?" 

©2012 Kona Lowell

My Favorite Things

I love three things: music, writing and sex. The older I get, the more time I find for music and writing.

©2012 Kona Lowell

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Fox News

Admitting to watching Fox News should be as acceptable as public masturbation. In front of a day care center. While wearing bunny ears.

©2012 Kona Lowell

Friday, November 23, 2012

How Stupid Are You?

No, that's not me asking the question. It's the Republicans, and they're banking on the answer being "Pretty fucking stupid."

Let me explain. For the next several months, possibly years, you are going to be hearing that the GOP is moderating its views and policies. You are going to hear that they are moving towards the middle, that there still exist Republicans who are willing to compromise. Don't believe it.

Remember that the big holdup right now is about a less than 4% tax increase on those making over $250,000 per year. It's peanuts. It means nothing to these people. What they really want is to decimate the Big Three: Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid. And the way to do that is to pretend to be willing to compromise on a minor tax increase none of them would even feel. Don't get suckered.

Let's be truthful. There are no good Republicans. Oh sure, there are people, members of your family and mine perhaps, who support the GOP and don't realize how evil the party truly is, that falsely believe the GOP's policies would actually help the middle class and the poor, but I'm talking about Republican politicians. They are evil.

Name one piece of Republican legislation, one policy, one idea that has ever benefited the middle class or the poor. I'll wait. Dum de dum dum, la de dah, dum de dum.

Yeah, I couldn't think of one either. There's a reason for that. The GOP exists for one reason and one reason only: to protect the wealthy from the rest of us.

I used the word "evil" up above. It is not a word I throw around. It's like the word "love" to me. I use it sparingly. But what do you call a philosophy that exhibits not simply callous indifference to the poorest, the weakest, the hardest working among us but actually seeks to make those who are struggling even poorer, sicker and weaker? And does so with a transparent maliciousness and winking spite, all with the misanthropic goal of further enriching those already bloated with historic wealth?

Evil works for me.

So I will not be buying into the bullshit that is going to be dumped on us until the next election. Sure, a couple Republicans may concede a point or two from time to time. Some will do so because they fear being voted out in their purple districts. But most are just bluffing. Their goal remains unchanged and that goal is to gut the so-called "entitlements" while distributing as much wealth as possible upwards.

Don't be fooled. Remember that the entire Romney campaign was based on lies. And racism. Not one ad his campaign ran was factual. Even the theme of their convention was based on a lie. They are incapable of honesty, another facet of evil, I would say.

They are counting on you and I being stupid. Let's disappoint them.

©2012 Kona Lowell

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Giving Thanks

Every Thanksgiving Day, I take time to reflect on my pretty damn wonderful life and count my blessings. This usually means I run out of fingers and must count on my toes as well. And the cat's toes.

If you are an American, you can probably do this, too. Go ahead. Give it a whirl.

So here are some of the things I'm thankful for, this November 22, 2012.

I'm thankful that Obama gets a second chance to demonstrate how Democrats make better Presidents than Republicans. Every single time. Lincoln excepted.

I'm thankful that a majority of our citizens do not base their votes on skin color, ethnicity, sexual orientation or lies.

I'm thankful that billions of dollars spent to have the opposite effect were well wasted.

I'm thankful that two wars are winding down and that most people are not eager to watch other people fight another one.

I'm thankful that those so-called minorities realized how powerful they really are.

I'm thankful that what used to be the majority will just have to get used to not getting their way. Sorry old, straight, white, male, racist fucks.

I'm thankful that Fox News is losing viewership. This is either due to their audience wising up or jumping out of very high windows.

I'm thankful for Nate Silver and his 538 Blog for keeping my blood pressure low for several months.

I'm thankful that Republicans seem to have never discovered this preventative medicine.

I'm thankful that I still live in a majestically blue state. Good job, Hawaii. Republicans, flights leave back to the mainland hourly. Aloha.

I'm thankful that Sarah Palin, Joe the Plumber, Allen West, Todd Akin, Joe Walsh (the talentless one), Richard Mourdock and several other Tea Party elite are soon to become embarrassing footnotes in American history.

I'm thankful they will be embarrassing footnotes for the GOP. Every damn one of them, for years to come.

I'm supremely thankful that I do not have to use the word "President" followed by the word "Romney." Ever.

I'm thankful that the left, of which I am a charter member, has finally grasped the concept of incrementalism. Beats the hell out of all or nothing, since we usually end up with nothing.

I'm thankful that pot legalization is no longer a pipe dream.

I'm thankful that I have lived long enough to see the first Black president and believe I will see the first woman president before I shuffle off.

I'm thankful that I'm not a Republican. Turkey goes much better with cranberry sauce than crow.

©2012 Kona Lowell

Friday, November 9, 2012

The Republicans Figure It All Out

Washington, DC. On the heels of their historic defeat Tuesday night, Republicans are facing the reality of their loss and making plans for future elections. Most are now realizing that they had a winning message, but did not deliver that message in an effective way.

"A lot of Americans saw our party as being overly concerned about the top 1%," said Speaker John Boehner (R-OH). "Our mistake was not pointing out that we're really for the little guy. I mean, what's larger? 1% or 99%? We just didn't get this across."

"We needed better outreach to the Latino community," said Marco Rubio (R-FL). "Instead of talking about self-deportation, we should have offered them bus tickets. And a sack lunch."

"We blew it on women's issues," said Mitch McConnell (R-KY) "and that really cost us. Next time we'll keep all our crazier members in the basement and not use the "R" word so much. And we'll find Republican women who will deliver a solid, anti-woman message. Women always trust other women. They've got one brain between them."

"We need to get out there in the African-American community and fight for their vote," said Reince Priebus (RNC Chairman). We already have, what, five Black Republicans? We can build on this. We just need to teach our guys to rap. Or play basketball. And maybe lose those pictures of Obama with a bone through his nose."

"I think we did everything right," said Steve King (R-IA) "we just don't have enough white people. I suggest we do some serious breeding. Or we could just import more white people. From Germany."

©2012 Kona Lowell

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

What We Learned

Last night's big win was instructive, as well as exhilarating. So what did we learn from this historic night?

The Redskin Rule is bullshit. Surprise.

Nate Silver should not be allowed anywhere near Las Vegas.

Social media activism is not jerking off. Of course I thought Egypt had already proved that.

The South will not rise again.

African-Americans and Latinos don't like being kicked in the face. Who knew?

Thuggery and voter suppression is so 1950's.

Money doesn't trump everything.

Trump is still a fucking, treasonous idiot. Fire him, NBC. Now.

Women do not take rape lightly. Write that one down, Republicans. Better yet, tattoo it on your fucking foreheads.

A campaign based entirely on lies (yes, lies, not misstatements) will backfire. Your mom was right.

We need a federal voting system. Or we can let Florida fuck up every election for the rest of our lives.

Having Bruce Springsteen singing at your rallies is a good thing.

Having Meatloaf shrieking at your rallies is a bad thing.

Bill Clinton has been forgiven.

Racism is no longer chic. It's hick.

Republicans will continue to be intransigent. Fuck them. Run them over, with a steamroller preferably.

©2012 Kona Lowell

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

I Voted

Just got back from voting at Konawaena Elementary School. The place was full of folks from my local watering hole, even one of the bartenders. I asked him for a vodka rocks, olive. He said I'd have to wait.

©2012 Kona Lowell

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Now Tweeting

Yes, damn it, I gave in and am now tweeting @konalowell. Small, easily digestible snark tidbits. Don't miss all the fun and carnage.