Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Hope & Carry

San Antonio, Texas. Today Konajournal is on the road to look into the movement called Open Carry Texas and to try to ascertain exactly why these citizens feel the need to not only arm themselves but to openly display their weapons.

We are in San Antonio outside that famous shrine of Texas independence, The Alamo, where members of the movement have gathered. There's quite a crowd, but everyone seems to be behaving in an orderly fashion. Let's see if we can talk with a few of these well-armed activists.

"Hello, sir. I'm with Konajournal. I see you have a Glock there on your hip. Can I ask your name and why you are involved in the Open Carry movement?

"You bet. Trey Bugsdik. I'm from Waxahachie. Heck, we're just expressin' our God-given 2nd Amendment rights. It's in the Bible. If that ain't a fact, God's a possum."

"Of course. But don't you think it's a bit, well, outré?"

"You makin' fun of my name, son? Trey was my daddy's name."

"Certainly not! I meant... never mind. By the way, what kind of car do you drive?"

"Corvette, slim."

"Thank you. Thank you."

Well, that wasn't too productive. Let's see if we can talk to someone else. Ah, here's one.

"Sir, I'm with Konajournal. I see you have an AR-15 there. Can I ask your name and what brought you here today?"

"Yep. Lance Ratzwanger. I'm from just down the road a piece in Schertz. I'm here to show the government if they're fixin' to put me in some damn FEMA camp they're like to have dug up more snakes than they can kill."

"I see your t-shirt has the Obama "hope" logo on it and the word "carry." That actually is pretty clever."


"Hope 'n Carry. Of course it would be funnier if you had a Cockney accent, you know, 'ope 'n carry."

"I don't get it."

"Never mind. By the way, what kind of car do you drive?"

"That big black F650 over there with the monster tires and the ladder leaning against her."

"Thank you."

Well, we're not getting any closer to understanding why these men feel the need to walk around with their weapons in the open. Let's try one more.

"Sir! Yes, you, with the flag. I'm with Konajournal. I see you have a replica of the Alamo's famous "Come and Take It" flag and a shoulder-fired rocket launcher. Can I ask your name and why you are a member of  Open Carry Texas?"

"Howdy. Billy Ray Verysmallpenis and I got more guts than you can hang on a fence, old son. That Obama don't know a widget from a whangdoodle if he thinks he can sashay down here and take our guns."

"You think he's going to do that?"

"Hell yes! That boy is as crooked as a dog's back leg! But that's why we keep our saddles oiled and our guns greased. My momma didn't raise no Moses Rose jackrabbit!"

"Okay, I don't even get that one."

"Where you from boy?"


"You sure you ain't some kinda Mexican?"

"Yes, pretty sure. By the way, what kind of car do you drive?

"That red Hummer with the super lift kit over down through there. Why?"

"Just curious. Thanks!"

"Adios, muchacho."

Well, sadly we have still not learned why these men feel the need to display their weapons in public, although there is the common thread of ostentatious vehicles and short tempers. But it wasn't a total waste of time. I did get to see The Alamo. Wonder if I should remind them how that one ended? Nah.

©2014 Kona Lowell

You can hear a reading of this blog every Wednesday at 7 PM Central at Brass Knuckle Progressives Radio.

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