The Tea Party & the Utopian Left

As a liberal, it's very easy to look at the racist, ignorant yahoos in the Tea Party and feel superior. From the misspelled posters to their demands that the government keep its hands off their Medicare to illogically insisting that President Obama is a Kenyan Muslim socialist, they provide people like me with enough grist to keep the satire mill running 24-7.

Recently, in a town hall meeting, North Carolina GOP Rep. Robert Pittenger ran head first into the Tea Party buzz saw when he declined to vote to repeal Obamacare for the 40th time. It seems that the Baggers in attendance were unconcerned about the reality of the situation, that being the fact that a repeal is impossible, and insisted he do it anyway to prove his conservative credentials. Reality be damned.

It would be easy to laugh at this futile stupidity, and I do regularly, but with the 2014 elections looming on the horizon, my laughter is tempered by the knowledge that we have not only the imbeciles in the Tea Party to deal with, but also those in the Utopian Left who are just as eager to derail the Democratic train and are busily involved in tearing up the tracks even now.

By "Utopian Left" I am referring to what some call the "Professional Left." These are pundits and journalists who are so pure that no Democrat living can attain to the lofty ideal they have constructed as well as that thirty-something guy named Tanner who, when not masturbating to the Che poster in his mother's basement (where he still lives), drags his djembe to every rally in Portland, whatever the cause, and refers to President Obama as "Obomber."

In other words, the Utopian Left are the idealists, the holier-than-thou purists, unaffected by reality, unclear on the concept of incrementalism, who insist it be all or nothing, see any compromise as surrender and are willing to wreck everything if they can't have their way. Exactly like the Tea Party.

These two disparate groups actually work towards the same end, by different means, that end being putting Republicans back in power. The Tea Party does this by rousing the base with misinformation, racism and fear. The Utopian Left by disheartening the base, claiming both parties are identical and that voting for a Democrat is pissing in the wind. This worked like a charm in 2010, and if you're enjoying the obstructionist House, please thank both groups.

Take Obamacare for example. The Tea Party hates it. The Utopian Left hates it, but for different reasons. The Baggers because it's "socialized medicine" (they suppose) and the Utopians because it isn't socialized enough. Obama, the pussy, should have demanded single-payer and since he didn't, they are willing to blow it up and take healthcare away from millions of Americans. There are no "first steps" for the Utopian Left. And if enough Americans die, maybe then things will change. Gotta break a few eggs to make an omelette. If the Republicans regain the Senate and the White House, both will have their way.

This same paradigm works on almost every important issue: The NSA, climate change, gay rights, women's rights, drone warfare, minimum wage, marijuana legalization, legal system inequity, etc. Neither group is happy with the direction being taken or the speed of progress, but all would be dramatically more god awful were the Republicans in charge. Sure, they might get rid of those immoral drones and then replace them with a full-on war with hundreds of thousands of dead women and children, and of course American soldiers. Would that make you happy? They can't wait, you know. It's part of the GOP DNA. We could see minimum wage outlawed. Abortion outlawed. Being gay outlawed. Voting while Black outlawed. Use your imagination. The sky's the limit. By the way, they hate the sky, too.

Look, I'm a lefty, not just a liberal. I hate drones. I hate the NSA spying on us. I want more done now on climate change, inequity in our justice system, voting rights and income equality. But I'm a lefty who lives in the real world. I see the obstacles the President faces, and they are not imaginary. I'll take some progress over none, or worse, ten steps backwards. Sniping at Obama from one's desk at a liberal website or banging on a djembe in a circle jerk, I mean drum circle, while chanting epithets as nasty as anything the Tea Party spits out will not move us one inch closer to Utopia.

©2013 Kona Lowell