Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Understanding Your Stupid Republican Friends

Last Sunday on Meet the Press, the only place where Republicans can go to lie unchallenged besides Fox News, RNC Chairman Reince Priebus made this astonishing statement regarding Governor Chris Christie and his news conference on the bridge scandal: "He stood there for 111 minutes in an open dialogue with the press. Now if only Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton would give us 111 seconds of that, would we find out some things we want to find out about Obamacare, Benghazi the IRS -- I mean Chris Christie has been open here."

Odd. I seem to remember Hillary Clinton testifying for hours before the very aggressive House Oversight and Government Reform Committee on the Benghazi embassy attack. I have these strange recollections of President Obama addressing not only Benghazi but the IRS non-scandal as well, and a contentious hearing on that, too. I have this fleeting image in my mind of hundreds of thousands of documents being released. And I have these weird memories of Obama apologizing several times for the bad healthcare rollout and for certain policies being cancelled that he said would not be.

It must have all been a horrible dream. Or, Republicans are liars.

Good news. I'm not crazy. I was able to determine that it was the second option by doing a 15 second Google search. Republicans are liars. About almost everything.

But how in the world can they get away with this? Well, aside from Meet the Press, they have their own network, Fox News, where facts go to die 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

This is why to most Fox News viewers, Reince Priebus is a truth-teller and Governor Christie a shining beacon of honesty, courage and raw manliness. And the fact that Fox devoted a whopping 14 minutes and 21 seconds to covering the scandal on January 8, the day the feces encountered a series of radiating vanes attached to and revolving with a central hub to produce a current of air, while CNN and MSNBC each spent over 2 hours reporting on the fiasco, may be one reason.

So do not be surprised if Republicans you know are outraged that you simply can't believe that everyone surrounding Governor Christie knew what was going on but he did not. For months. Or that President Obama and Hillary Clinton have not spent 111 seconds responding to questions about Benghazi, the IRS or Obamacare. Or that FEMA is setting up concentration camps. Or that climate change is a hoax. Or that there really were WMD in Iraq. Or that Obama is a Muslim from Kenya. Or that teachers and unions tanked the economy. Or that cutting taxes for the wealthy will make us all rich. Or that President Obama tripled the deficit. Or that Social Security is bankrupt. Or that most people receiving welfare are Black drug addicts. Or that immigrants have stolen our jobs. Or that raising the minimum wage will put Walmart out of business.

They can't help it. It's the company they keep.

©2014 Kona Lowell


  1. Kona, we've got a ton of work to do, right?! It's overwhelming to say the least... Let's all agree that in this next election we've got to do our best to drowned out as my propaganda, and as much hyperbole, and as much fear, and lies that will be coming from the GOP Superpacs this year. If we can make sure the world is bluer rather than redder, then I know we'll all have a chance on this beautiful planet.