Friday, November 28, 2014

It Isn't Easy Being White

Ferguson, MO. Today Konajournal is on the streets of Ferguson, Missouri. It has been mostly peaceful so far, but a lot of people are still out here making their feelings known, carrying signs, holding their hands in the air and spontaneously singing protests songs from time to time. Let's talk to someone if we can. Here's one.

"Hello, sir. I'm with Konajournal. I've just arrived here in Missouri from the Aloha State, Hawaii. May I ask you a few questions?"

"It's Missour-uh. So you come from Hawaiiuh? That's a far piece."

"It's Hawaii, or Ha-VAI-ii, and yes it is. I noticed your sign: DARREN WILSON FOR PRESIDENT. Obviously you do not share the view of most of the protesters that he should be held accountable for Michael Brown's death."

"They oughta give that boy a medal the size of a dinner plate! No tellin' what that colored boy was gonna do next. Ya know he was seven foot tall and 400 pounds. Eyes like a damn cat. I seen him before. He couldn't even feel them bullets! Scary sumbitch."

"He was a large kid, yes. But Officer Wilson is retiring. He's received over a million dollars in donations."

"Damn right. We minorities stick together."


"Hell yes. We white folks is the minority right here. We gotta look after one another."

"Well the police and the town government and the courts seem to be predominantly white."

"Well sure. That's how we look after one another. See, us white folks is getting squeezed out. First they git Black History Month. Then Martin Luther King Day. Then they git that sumbitch, Obama, all the way from Africa to be the damn President. Now they git Black Friday. What do we git?"


"They even git Black Entertainment Television! Why don't we git White Entertainment Television?"

"Because most television IS white entertainment?"

"Naw, that ain't it. I'll tell you what, too. You seen any white folks riotin' after O. J. got let off? Nope!"

"Well, that's not really the same thing. But it is true that the cops planted evidence and lied in that case, too."

"Had to! Now looky here, how come there's so many colored folks in prison? I'll tell ya. Crime comes natural to 'em. Can't help it. Just the way they are."

"So you think that if Michael Brown had been white Officer Wilson would have shot him?"

"Hell no! He woulda had a talk with that boy's daddy. Yes sir. You seen Michael Brown's daddy? He's 8 feet tall, close ta 500 pounds! Eyes like a damn bat!"

"Well, thank you, sir. You've made my trip to Missouri a success."

"It's Missour-UH. You headin' back to Hawaaiuh?"

"It's Hawai-EE And I'll pronounce it Missour-UH when you start spelling it that way."

"We do."

©2014 Kona Lowell

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  1. Great writing Kona. As I read your work, I can almost hear that Missour-uh accent. Thanks.