Thursday, February 26, 2015

Obama, the Un-American President

Washington, DC. Aside from weathering a paralyzing snow storm, representatives in our nation's capitol have been battling a whirling shit storm, thanks to statements made by former New York City mayor, Rudy Giuliani. The remarks, delivered at a fundraising event for dead fish impersonator and Koch brothers' favorite sex toy, Wisconsin's Governor Scott Walker, hinted that President Obama may be just a tad lukewarm in his affection for the country he leads. Said the former mayor:

“I know this is a horrible thing to say, but I do not believe that the president loves America. He doesn’t love you. And he doesn’t love me. He wasn’t brought up the way you were brought up and I was brought up through love of this country.”

Okay, that's more than a hint. But Giuliani, who has descended from "America's Mayor" to America's crazy fucking racist uncle banging on the attic floor, was not done. Holding forth at Fox News, the convicted leg-breaker's son doubled and tripled down on his belief that President Obama basically hates everything America stands for. So there.

What brought this all about, of course, is Obama's ongoing refusal to call ISIS thugs and other terrorists of Muslim origin "Islamic terrorists." The President holds that this appellation (preferred by anti-Islam bigots, Islamophobes and harpies named Pam Geller by a margin of 10 to 1) gives these criminals legitimacy they do not warrant. It is for precisely the same reason the president does not refer to Republicans as "treasonous, reality-denying shitheads." It's more than they deserve.

But as much as we effete liberals would like to deny it, the increasingly irrelevant former mobster's son does have a point: Barack Obama was not brought up in a stereotypical Italian crime family and is stunningly, undeniably not white.

President Obama demonstrates this by regularly appearing in public as a Black man. He showed his sneering disdain for white women everywhere by marrying one Michelle Robinson and shortly thereafter producing two chocolate-toned children that will never be mistaken for Italians. He displays an elitist contempt for NASCAR and is unable to distinguish Dale Earnhardt, Jr. from Jimmie Johnson, and further, could not give a fuck. He would instead prefer to watch tall Black, athletic men fly through the air and slam basket balls than watch white guys drive around in a circle. He doesn't bowl. His iPod is tellingly bare of country music and he never starts a speech with, "Like Charlie Daniels says...." Even worse, he vacations in the communist state of Hawaii instead of Branson, Missouri. He refuses to man-up and be a Real American by slaughtering God's creatures for sport and idle amusement while shit-faced drunk. He doesn't go 4-wheeling, preferring to preserve Nature as opposed to digging tire tracks into her. And most damningly obvious of all, he seems to prefer ending and preventing wars than starting them for no fucking reason.

Rudy Giuliani is right. Barack H. Obama is no George W. Bush. And for that, we can all be grateful.

Next week, Obama hates Israel because he refuses to convert from Islam to Judaism.

©2015 Kona Lowell


  1. You forgot to mention that Rudy's father was convicted of a felony, was sent up the river and did over a year in the Big House. He was careful to make certain his draft board knew about this, even though convicted under an alias.

    "Harold, whose robbery conviction was in the name of an alias, made sure the draft board knew he was a felon. "