Victory in Sanford

Hats are in the air in Sanford, Florida, and throughout the redder parts of the country, after 17 year old Trayvon Martin was found guilty by a jury of George Zimmerman's peers last night.

The six female members of the all-white jury determined that Mr. Martin caused his own death by being overtly black and walking through a gated Sanford neighborhood at the same time. Sanford, it must be noted, was not named after Redd Foxx's loveable junk man character he portrayed on Sanford & Son.

Legal analysts are hailing this decision as a victory for easily excitable white gun owners nationwide and a much needed buttressing of the Stand Your Ground If It's a Black Person Law that has made Florida a mecca for fat white men who love Charles Bronson movies and enjoy year-long hunting.

Legal precedent was also set in this decision as to what constitutes a lethal weapon. We now know that black folk are armed to the teeth every time they walk on a cement sidewalk, and a responsible white person will take this into account whenever he or she sees one doing so.

Zimmerman defense attorney, Don West, was "ecstatic" about the verdict, and had this to say about the cruelty Mr. Zimmerman had endured due to a justice system that had the audacity to question his actions and actually prosecute him for an act of heroism.

"I think the prosecution of George Zimmerman was disgraceful. I am gratified by the jury's verdict. As happy as I am for George Zimmerman, I'm thrilled that this jury kept this tragedy from becoming a travesty," said defense attorney Don West. "For that we are eternally grateful. But it makes me sad, too, that it took this long under these circumstances to finally get justice."

The jury also proved, as the defense noted, that this trial was never, ever about race, and that they would have found Trayvon Martin just as guilty if the situation had been reversed and he had shot Mr. Zimmerman. For that, all of us who love this post-racial country we live in can take great comfort.

And now the hard part begins, as American hero George Zimmerman struggles to put his momentarily detoured life back together, put the horror of this inexcusable trial behind him, and resume his duties and patrol on neighborhood watch. But white people in Sanford will sleep a little easier tonight knowing that Zimmerman is watching over them. And black teenagers have learned that they, like their hoodies, should stay in the 'hood and that justice is not just blind, it's deaf, too.

©2013 Kona Lowell