When Barack Obama won his first presidential contest, and became the country's first Black president, people who know important things declared that the United States had officially entered the era of post-racialism. One could be certain of this due to the way his election to the highest office in the land was embraced and celebrated by cheering, teary-eyed Republicans.
What confused some people were the unfounded assertions that President Obama was actually born in Kenya instead of Hawaii, that he is a Muslim, that he (and his wife) despise America (and white folk) and that he is a socialist communist Marxist Islamist Nazi. But how could we possibly be post-racial if the president was seemingly being treated disrespectfully and as an "other"? Thankfully, the Tea Party sprouted almost overnight, like mushrooms in cow shit, to demonstrate once and for all that this was simply theater, good-natured, playful ribbing that denotes a deep and abiding love and respect. Like a celebrity roast, only with misspelled posters.
The Supreme Court, realizing this, decided that a key provision of the Voting Rights Act was no longer needed, since racism had been officially abolished, paving the way for new hurdles in minority voting.
"Look, we all know Black athletes are the best at the hurdles," said Justice Antonin "Fat Tony" Scalia, "so this is really an advantage for them. As for the long lines sure to crop up in minority voting areas, it is also a well known fact that people of color like to mill around in large groups in the open air for hours on end. We're just trying to make them happy."
Enter George Zimmerman, a simple, hardworking citizen devoted to law and order, love of community and a fierce proponent of racial justice, to assure us that post-racialism is indeed upon us.
Mr. Zimmerman, it may be remembered, shot to death an unarmed 17 year old boy, Trayvon Martin, who was attempting to disrupt our post-racial utopia by walking through Mr. Zimmerman's neighborhood while haughtily displaying an inordinate amount of Blackness. The concern the police felt for Mr. Zimmerman, and the admiration for his selfless act of heroism displayed by Fox News and millions of supportive Americans, further demonstrates that we do indeed live in a post-racial world. A color-blind world, where white folk can shoot black folk without fear of retribution or the scurrilous charge of racism.
We can thank President Obama's election for making this all possible. And when we have finally elected our first woman president, we will witness a new dawn, the birth of a new era. The Post-Rape Era.
©2013 Kona Lowell
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