Jurgenson, MO. Tensions are still high here in Jurgenson following last week's shooting of yet another unarmed white teenager, but police are allowing demonstrations to continue tonight as long as they remain peaceful and there are no more attempts at singing.
As has been widely reported, the outrage started when Blake Farquhar, age 18, was shot by Officer Rashid Jones as Mr. Farquhar was leaving a local convenience store in the early morning hours last Wednesday. Responding to a disturbance call, Officer Jones saw Mr. Farquhar running "crazily" around the dark parking lot followed by a very excited clerk from the store. When Mr. Farquhar ignored orders to stop and began running towards the officer, Officer Jones fired several shots and Mr. Farquhar was killed instantly.
White residents of the town became enraged when it was discovered that the teen had simply forgotten his change and that the Korean clerk, whose English is a bit uncertain, was only chasing him to return the change for a hundred dollar bill that he had left on the counter.
"This has got to stop!" said Heath McMaster, one of the local protesters. "Our children are being targeted by these Black policemen. My son, Troy, has been stopped twice this month — just for driving his BMW too slowly! Yes, he likes his music loud, but just because the police don't like Metallica is no reason to harass him!"
Many residents believe that the root cause of the problem is lack of representation. Jurgenson, as has been reported, has only three white officers on the police force although the town itself is 86% Caucasian, as well as having a Black mayor and a predominantly Black City Council.
Further inflaming tensions was the release of the toxicology report that showed that Mr. Farquhar had traces of Vicodin, marijuana and LSD in his system.
"My son was so stoned he didn't even realize that Officer Jones was a policeman. He probably thought he was a giant talking eggplant," said Chatsworth Farquhar, father of the deceased. "Black kids get stoned, too, and they don't shoot them down in the street! They give them NBA contracts and record deals!"
However, Black residents of Jurgenson say that far too many of the town's white teens are just asking for it due to their arrogant, erratic behavior, excessive allowances and bizarre clothing, usually consisting of tight-fitting black jeans, black leather jackets, wild hair and eerie makeup.
Conflicting accounts of the shooting are causing controversy as well. Several Black residents have corroborated Officer Jones account, supporting his claim that Mr. Farquhar was acting extremely white and ran threateningly at the officer screaming profanities. But another witness, Odgen Stratford, claims that the teen was only screaming "Eggplant!" over and over.
Officer Jones has expressed his sympathy for the family but maintains that he felt that his life was in imminent danger.
"Mr. Farquhar was acting strangely and screaming. He was wearing all black, had on black lipstick and eyeshadow and looked like he was going to turn into a bat any minute and fly right at me," said Officer Jones. "I've seen enough movies. I thought he was a damn vampire. I just couldn't take that chance."
Calls for a Special Prosecutor who understands how fucked up white people really are has so far gone unheeded.
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All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
©2014 Kona Lowell
You can hear a reading of this blog every Sundayat 9 AM Central at Brass Knuckle Progressives Radio.
Great satire. Thanks Kona.
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