Thursday, May 24, 2012

Defining Republican-Speak, Part 3

The following definitions are part of an ongoing effort to clarify words and phrases used by Republicans. While all are in common usage, for Republicans they hold different meanings than for sane and moral people. To read part 2:

Tax (noun) A penalty assessed for being middle-class.

War (noun) A jobs program for the poor; a boom market.

Filibuster (noun) Threatening to take one's balls and go home while having no balls.

Environment (noun) Liquid assets.

Democracy (noun) Something delivered to other countries from 30,000 feet.

Ronald Reagan Republican savior, infallible. The impossible ideal to which all Republicans aspire.

Jesus Embarrassing understudy to Ronald Reagan, evoked when dealing with rubes.

George W. Bush

Liberal Media Alibi.

Austerity (noun) A lo-cal diet for the starving.

Debt (noun) A paper bag filled with dog feces which is left burning on the front porch of each newly elected Democratic president.

©2012 Kona Lowell

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