Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Jesus as Ignorant, Redneck Asshat

Maiden, NC. Pastor Charles Worley of Providence Road Baptist Church, and self-appointed earthly representative of Jesus Christ, believes he has the perfect plan to eliminate homosexuality from the United States, and simultaneously please the perverted, vicious image of the Prince of Peace that he preaches:

"Build a great, big, large fence — 150 or 100 mile long — put all the lesbians in there. Do the same thing for the queers and the homosexuals and have that fence electrified so they can’t get out…and you know what, in a few years, they’ll die out…do you know why? They can’t reproduce!"

Unless you should think, however, that Pastor Worley is completely devoid of compassion, he does suggest air-dropping food into the concentration camp. Nice.

While the pastor's solution certainly resonates with his benighted congregation, it has one glaring flaw (besides being almost magically evil), and one would suppose he would notice this, since he mentioned it in the above quote, and that is that homosexuals do not reproduce. So where do they come from?

Straight people.

So even if all gay people were put into death camps, straight people will continue to have gay children.


Pastor Worley really needs to rethink this plan. Fortunately, he will have an eternity to ponder it.

In hell.

©2012 Kona Lowell


  1. Of course, he will end up on the shores of the Lake of Fire.

  2. I'd say there's a good chance of that.