Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Mississippi GOP Forces Rethinking of Evolutionary Theory

UC, Berkeley. After recent polls in Mississippi revealed that a vast majority of Republican voters still believe that President Obama is a Muslim, that interracial marriage should be illegal and that evolution is a myth, scientists have been forced to rethink their theories on how evolution functions.

"We have seen the process working, albeit slowly, in Alabama," said Prof. Roy Caldwell, "In Alabama an actual majority of GOP voters do not believe that people involved in interracial marriages should be hung from lampposts. However, a large percentage still seem to be oblivious to the facts on the President's origin and religion."

Asked what he found most surprising about the the recent Mississippi poll, Prof. Caldwell remarked, "That these people are still alive. One would expect that with their sub-par level of intelligence, their pathetic instinct for self-preservation and their inability to adapt and function in a modern world their demise would be sped up significantly, and that they would be replaced with a more vibrant, intelligent species. It is causing us to rethink some firmly-held constructs."

Prof. Caldwell and several of his colleagues are planning an expedition to Mississippi to study the inhabitants first-hand.

"It is quite rare to be able to study a still-existing primitive culture, and although there are certainly inherent dangers, we must seize this opportunity. We hope to begin in a month or so, after an intensive course in language and customs and the usual inoculations.

"We are really very excited, I must tell you. The Mississippi GOP cave art is remarkable."

©2012 Kona Lowell


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  2. Johnney Rebs did, after all, fight a war to preserve wage competition with people who were enslaved. So getting a job off the farm for a white person meant competing with those who were forced to work for meager rations and supplemented the diet by hunting and gathering. So by fighting the Civil War, whites were in effect demanding slave wages! Go figure how the male ancestors were smart enough or lucky enough to survive the Civil War for-of-&-by the 1% Southern Aristocracy, and then have their offspring Embrace Rot@Work/RTW 90 years later. Believe me, I'm from south of Missouri, and I'd like to give my ancestors more credit.
    You know what I really think... the very word "UNION" still gives Johnney Rebs decendants Satanic fits of fage. BINGO! It's worth getting $5,300 less in Average Wage, supporting bottom-of-the- barrel Schools, and taking Federal Income Tax Handouts form higher wage Blue Union Work States in order to not have anything to do with a "Union Label.” Gee willickers! Who got their brains out of a Cracker-Jack Box? I guess you get what potential you inherit for the most part. …so much for “Intelligent Design.”