Washington, DC. There is a tendency among liberals, progressives and other Democrats to not only disagree with Republican policy positions, but to demonize our good friends on the other side of the aisle for stances we consider extreme, toxic or simply mean-spirited, brazenly evil when in reality Republicans are kindhearted, generous Americans who are woefully, and yes — wrongfully — misunderstood.
example, many Democrats found fault with the Republican opposition to
the repeal of DADT. Liberals demanded that gays and lesbians had every
right to serve their country openly and unashamed and castigated the GOP
for what was perceived to be bigoted, homophobic assholery of the
highest order, when in reality the Republicans were simply expressing a
near-maternal, deeply held concern that a war could tragically reduce
our beloved gay population, thus depleting our stock of interior
designers, hair stylists, Republican pundits and congressional aides.
same misunderstanding has been in play throughout the health care
debate. Liberals concluded that Republican opposition to millions of
uninsured Americans finally having access to health care at affordable
rates was due to a lack of empathy, even a spiteful, ugly shitheadedness
that delights to the verge of orgasm in crushing to pink goo and bone
fragments the poor and middle class. Nothing could be further from the
truth. Republicans were in fact selflessly putting their careers on the
line to protect the millions of insurance company employees, emergency
room staffs, orphanages, bankruptcy attorneys and funeral directors who
could be drastically impacted by passage of this law.
rights presents yet another case of too-quick-to-judge liberals
presupposing evil intent on the part of goodhearted Republicans. For
example, take the equal pay for equal work issue. Democrats attribute
the GOP's unwillingness to endorse this concept to an innate, small
penis hostility, bordering on Ariel Castro-like misogyny, when in
reality it is a result of an overwhelming love and admiration for the
fair sex. See, Republicans fear that women will make so much money that
they will no longer view marriage as a worthy goal, and will therefore
end up as wizened, bitter, old hags, childless and unfulfilled, with
nothing left but to spew their icy venom, thus becoming legions of
competition for Ann Coulter and thereby upsetting the delicate balance
of wobblefuckery in the universe.
cannot get a break. Now we have millions of Democrats railing against
what they assume to be more casual GOP malevolence, bold-faced cupidity
and gleeful thuggery in the slashing of SNAP — commonly know as food
stamps — funding. Again, we err. In reality, although late to the game,
Republicans are simply joining with First Lady Michelle Obama's Let's Move campaign to fight childhood obesity.
I think some apologies are in order.
©2013 Kona Lowell