Washington, DC. Mitt Romney appeared on Fox & Friends this morning to bask in the the warm after-glow of his vice-presidential pick, Wisconsin Congressman Paul Ryan.
"Wow, now we have two underwear models on the same ticket!" Gretchen Carlson chirped. "As a Republican woman, I can tell you this is the closest I've been to being sexually satisfied since I gave up horseback riding!"
"This is a can't-lose ticket, Governor Romney! It's like we got Palin, but without the PMS!" Brian Kilmeade intoned.
"I for one am just happy to be a real American," said a choked-up Steve Doocy, "This gives hope to bland, angry white guys with small penises everywhere."
"Well, I'm glad you all approve. It was a really tough choice," Mr. Romney said.
"So why not Pawlenty or Portman or even Rubio, Governor?"
"Well, they are all fine men, Steve, but having Paul on the ticket says something loudly and clearly to the people of this country."
"And that is?"
©2012 Kona Lowell