Friday, February 24, 2012

Republicans Have Gas

Washington, DC. With the economy improving, the stock market at record levels, GM leading the auto industry, foreign policy deemed successful, marriage equality gaining ground state by state and the birth control issue having exploded in their faces like a cheap trick cigar, the Republican Party has finally found an issue they believe they can run on and defeat President Obama with: gas prices.

All four GOP candidates are hitting the stump and loudly blaming the president for high prices at the pump while promising that if they are elected, gas prices will magically plummet to Flock of Seagulls era levels. That there is no explanation of exactly how this is to be accomplished seems to be irrelevant to the Republican faithful, a group well-known for their disdain for reason and facts. The important thing is that high gas prices are perceived as Obama's Achilles Heel.

Asked how they intend to counter this powerful argument, Press Secretary Jay Carney responded, "Um, we can say that the President has nothing to do with gas prices and that Republicans are batshit crazy?"

"Damn," said Speaker John Boehner, "That Obama is one tricky son of a bitch."

©2012 Kona Lowell

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