Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Defining Republican-Speak

This is the first in a continuing series intended to help the average not insane person understand the language spoken by Republicans. I hope the following definitions will be enlightening.

Bully (noun) A person who does not do exactly what you demand they do.

Liar (noun) A person who tells the truth about you.

Christian (noun) A person that uses Jesus Christ as a 2 x 4 to hit others over the head with.

Conservative (noun) A person opposed to anything that benefits the largest number of people and ironically opposes conservation as well.

Liberal (noun) A person who reminds conservatives too much about the parts of the Bible they hate.

Woman (noun) Bipedal breeding device and home appliance.

Democrat (noun) Enemy, spawn of Satan. Uses logic, facts and sometimes even morality to demonically make America better for the masses.

Entitlement (noun) Insurance you paid for that you now don't deserve.

Job (noun) Something created in a foreign country to give the natives something to do.

Tree-Hugger (noun) A person who doesn't want their child to die of an asthma attack.

Education (noun) A dangerous gateway drug that often leads to awareness and Democratic voting.

©2012 Kona Lowell


  1. Wonderfully done post... Shared this on and I hope you don't mind.