Thursday, April 26, 2012

Romney Campaign Rents Hedgehog to Close Charisma Gap

Washington, DC. The Republicans, from pundits to pols, have been in a quandary as to how to counter President Obama's skillful oratory gift, his easy charm with ordinary folks, his vocal talent and his glib banter with late-night talk show hosts.

"Putting Romney out there totally unarmed with Obama charming the socks off of everyone is just going to kill us," said Reince Priebus, GOP chairman, "He has all the charisma of a sticky door handle. I mean, some kid gets her picture taken with Obama and it's all over the news, the internet and the twitterverse! If Romney were to hand out free puppies and cotton candy he couldn't get a break. So we've done the next best thing. We've rented a baby hedgehog for him to carry in his pocket. Cutest damn thing you've ever seen."

However, the tactic might not be working as planned. This morning after a Romney campaign stop in Pennsylvania, several young women lined up to have their pictures taken with the candidate and the baby hedgehog.

"Awwwww! He's so cuuuute!" said Mindy, age 19, "I want one! I'm going to name him Obama!!!"

©2012 Kona Lowell

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