Monday, April 2, 2012

Romney Running Strong Among Insane and Suicidal Women

Middleton, WI. The Romney campaign expressed confidence today that their candidate would be the eventual nominee of the Republican Party due to a groundswell among women voters who are insane and/or suicidal and who stress that the national debt is their greatest concern.

As Governor Romney stated in a town hall meeting near Madison, his wife Ann has her finger on the pulse of the batshit crazy American woman, “She says that she’s going across the country and talking with women, and what they’re talking about is the debt that we’re leaving the next generation."

This was in evidence this morning in Oshkosh when Mr, Romney took questions from a primarily female audience outside a Piggly Wiggly.

"Governor Romney, I'm a single mother of three and I'm having a really hard time saving for my son's college education. What are you going to do about the national debt?"

"I'm glad you asked. Obama has made things worse."

"Mr. Romney, I'm the mother of a special needs child. If the Affordable Care Act is repealed, I will not be able to provide the care she needs. So what are you going to do about the debt?"

"I understand. Obama has increased the debt by several bazzilion dollars."

"Yes, hello, I just got married recently and my husband and I are not ready to start a family. Right now my insurance covers my birth control. What I want to know is exactly what you're going to do about the debt."

"Congratulations on your marriage. I hope you have as many happy years as Ann and I have had! Ha ha! Obama has grown the debt by one hundred gazzilion dollars."

"Governor Romney, I'm a gay atheist and as a mother do not want to see the wall of separation between Church and State torn down. What are you personally going to do to reduce our debt?"

"Thank you for your question! I wish Ann were here to answer it. Obama wants to increase the debt by one hundred million trazzilion dollars."

Meanwhile, the Ron Paul campaign is running an ad for primary voters on Craig's List. No pros, please.

©2012 Kona Lowell

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