Washington, DC. African elephants have finally decided that they are tired of the GOP using them as their symbol and have organized to have the famous Thomas Nast logo changed. Elephants Against the Republican Logo (EARL) sent their chairman, Jumbo, to Washington this week to discuss their demands.
"Look, no one asked us if we wanted to be the symbol of the Republican Party," Jumbo stated to reporters, "The fact is, none of us would even think of being a Republican.
"First of all, we're highly intelligent. Secondly, we're compassionate. We love our all our children. We all take care of everyone in the clan, even our dead. And even though we're very powerful and can be quite fierce, we're dedicated vegetarians. We are pacifists by nature. We would fit in the GOP about like a lion at a cat show.
"So we are asking the Republican Party to come up with a logo less offensive to our sensibilities. The hyena would be a good one, or maybe a jackal. The vulture would also be a very effective and logical logo."
"Jumbo, am I correct in saying that your group is composed entirely of African elephants, not Indian?"
"That's right, Chuck. The Indian elephants are not involved. I believe they are still hoping to get some of the benefits of outsourcing."
"Do you really believe you can get the GOP to change what has been their logo since 1874?"
"Well, David, we can only try. But I can tell you this: we never forget. That trait alone makes us totally unsuitable as Republicans. And, by the way, I actually was born in Kenya."
© 2011 Kona Lowell