Thursday, December 1, 2011

Prostitute Denies Hooking, Claims to Be Historian

Washington, DC. A local prostitute with several prior arrests has denied that she was engaged in the world's oldest profession and is in fact a historian. The woman, who goes by Candy Apple, claims that she was hired by a local area man for what was not in fact a stag party but a seminar on the history of sex around the world.

"I was hired for my expertise on this subject and to give advice to the husband-to-be due to my experience as an insider. The gentlemen in attendance simply paid the fee for the seminar."

Ms. Apple said that the class included French, Thai and Greek history as well as a lengthy segment on missionaries around the world. She was arrested before she could begin her oral quiz on the Kama Sutra.

"Look, I'm going to be really direct, OK? I can make $60,000 for a weekend trip to Aruba with any number of congressmen here. This was a historical seminar. It's just ridiculous."

Ms. Apple was released on bail, as was the groom.

"This seminar was even better than Tony Robbins!" said John Doe, "And my feet aren't sore. I never knew history could be so fucking hot. I'm buying the tapes."

© 2011 Kona Lowell

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