Pyongyang, N. Korea. Repressive North Korean dictator, better known to his starving people as Dear Leader, died Saturday and is none too happy. Said the dead tyrant from the lower levels of hell, "You know what? This sucks. I die, all North Korea is in the streets chanting and wailing and waving a flower named after me, the Kimjongilia, and the whole thing gets ignored because of a fake Bon Jovi death notice. Elvis I could understand, but Bon Jovi? Great hair, but he needs to comb it up. Up! Okay, gotta go. It's time to swim in the lake of fire again."
Kim Jon Un, the dead dictator's son, who will be likely taking over the country, echoed his father's anger.
"You Give Love a Bad Name is an okay tune, but Living on a Prayer is just your standard arena rock, although Sambora's guitar work shines. It should have been someone bigger, like McCartney, who didn't really die and ruin my dad's big day. Oh well, gotta go deprive the people. Later."
© 2011 Kona Lowell