Friday, December 16, 2011

U.S. Unhappy with China Tariffs, Holds Breath

Guangzhou, China. The Chinese government angered the Obama administration Wednesday evening by imposing surprise tariffs on imports of sport utility vehicles and midsize and large cars from America. While mostly a symbolic move, since these vehicles cost several times more in China than in the U.S., the new tariffs are likely to further strain the already tense trade relations. The White House also announced plans to appeal to the WTO to investigate China's restrictions on broiler chickens. Said Carol Guthrie, a spokeswoman for the Office of the United States Trade Representative:

“We are very disappointed in this action by China. We will be discussing this latest action with both our stakeholders and Congress to determine the best course going forward. In the meantime, we plan to hold our breath until we turn blue."

John E. Bryson, Secretary of the Department of Commerce met with reporters in Washington, D.C. today to discuss the stalemate:

"We are not at all pleased with this new attempt by the Chinese to restrict our SUV imports," said Secretary Bryson, "not to mention our chickens, and therefore we are not going to import any more Chinese SUV's. Oh wait. Shit. Okay, scratch that. Bob, what shitty little country with weak defenses and people who look Chinese can we attack?"


"Used to be Burma, right? Okay then, Myanmar, you're asking for it."

Meanwhile, Chinese officials launched a formal protest with the WTO against U.S. piracy of kung fu films and romantic movies in which everyone dies.

© 2011 Kona Lowell

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