Columbia, SC. Last night in here in South Carolina, former House speaker Newt Gingrich made political history by capturing not only the disgusting pig vote but also the redneck asshole jerkoff vote.
Pundits expected Mr. Gingrich to do well among disgusting pigs, but the consensus was that Rick Santorum would pick up the majority of the redneck asshole jerkoff vote with Texas governor Rick Perry out of the race.
"Mr. Gingrich has always had a broad appeal to the disgusting pig voter," said MSNBC's Chuck Todd, "due to his far-reaching, bombastic hypocrisy and utter lack of anything resembling morals. We knew he would do well with this segment of the populace, as well as with the fat rich white guys with small penises sector of the GOP electorate. But the redneck asshole jerkoff groundswell was entirely unexpected."
"Chuck is absolutely correct," said Howard Fineman, Huffington Post editor and MSNBC analyst. "The common wisdom was that Santorum would most certainly pick up the redneck asshole jerkoff vote, but Gingrich upped his game and really brought out the racial stereotyping and jingoism to great effect. Of course it's still too early to say whether he can parlay this into a win in Florida, but with his anti-Muslim rhetoric cranked up a bit, he may surprise us yet again."
Meanwhile, Ron Paul supporters are trying to figure out exactly what they spent $28,000,000 on and why.
©2012 Kona Lowell