Duh Moines, IA. Tonight, Hawkeye Republicans will make a statement about the direction they want to see their party go and who will carry their bright banner into the future. The choices are clear: a serial flip-flopper who gave his state mandated healthcare and supported abortion rights and now doesn't, a serial adulterer who made piles of cash whoring himself out to the highest bidder, an idiot who can't remember what government agencies he wants to abolish, an old geezer who would be better suited to standing on a street corner in a tattered robe proclaiming that the end is near, a batshit-crazy harpy who is so unfamiliar with facts and truth that she should be institutionalized, an eerily normal person who speaks Mandarin and may or may not really be a Republican or a guy whose very name makes people break out in fits of uncontrollable laughter.
One of these candidates will leave Iowa victorious. Will the right-wing evangelical Christianists get their anti-Muslim, anti-immigration, anti-gay, anti-woman, anti-union, pro-wealthy, pro-war win? Or will the constitutionally- and spelling-challenged Tea Party get their anti-Muslim, anti-immigration, anti-gay, anti-woman, anti-union, pro-wealthy, pro-war win? Or will the ever-shrinking moderate wing of the GOP get their anti-Muslim, anti-immigration, anti-gay, anti-woman, anti-union, pro-wealthy, pro-war win?
And what will happen in New Hampshire? Will this Pyrrhic victory translate to a win there? In South Carolina? Florida? Or will the party be so damaged as to be split beyond hope of reunification? Do I give a fuck?
No, not really. I always hated clowns. But one thing is certain: President Obama is not losing any sleep over the upcoming debates.
© 2012 Kona Lowell
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