Earth Wobbles Momentarily as Huntsman Quits Race

Beachbeach Beach, SC. People worldwide had something of a fright this morning when the earth momentarily was shifted off its axis by Jon Huntsman's surprise announcement that he was leaving the presidential race.

The former ambassador to China had this to say about this year's rough and tumble campaign season:

"This race has degenerated into an onslaught of negative and personal attacks not worthy of the American people and not worthy of this critical time in our nation's history." He called on those remaining in the race to "cease attacking" each other. Mr. Huntsman had previously claimed that Mr. Romney was a flip-flopper, liar, fake conservative, corporate raider, job-killer and lousy dancer.

The former Utah governor has now thrown his support at Mitt Romney.

"I appreciate Jon's support," Mr. Romney stated, "but wish he had not attached it to a brick. The doctor says I should have the stitches out in a week."

Meanwhile, Newt Gingrich is working on a new documentary chronicling pedophilia in Mormon history.

©2012 Kona Lowell