Martha's Hump, NH. Republican presidential candidate Jon Huntsman has hired "folksy" consultants to help build an image more to the liking of South Carolina voters. Matt David, Huntsman's campaign manager, explained:
"We have a great candidate here in Jon Huntsman, but he just can't compete with Romney's flannel shirts, Rick Perry's toe-in-the-dirt-aw-shucks drawl and Ron Paul's generally senile folksiness for the redneck vote. So we are beginning an intensive folksiness immersion program.
"Mr. Huntsman is listening to tapes of The Prairie Home Companion and watching old Andy Griffith episodes non-stop. Larry the Cable Guy is helping with his diction and we've hired Earl Scruggs to teach him the banjo. He's aced the first few bars of Foggy Mountain Breakdown. If the next debate has an open mike, we're gonna kill."
©2012 Kona Lowell