Wednesday, November 23, 2011

New Poll Reveals 50% of Americans Dumber Than You Thought

In a new Quinnipiac University survey released today, results show that 50% of Americans are even dumber than was previously believed possible. Asked whether the U.S. should take military action to prevent Iran’s development of a nuclear weapon, 55 percent of voters said no, while 36 percent said yes. When asked whether the U.S. should take military action if sanctions against Iran to prevent its nuclear weapons program failed, 50 percent voted for using military force. Asked whether they could find Iran on a map, 50% said yes, 22% said yes, if the countries were labeled distinctly in large letters and 28% asked if a "lifeline" would be available.

Asked whether the U.S. could afford another war, 50% said no and 50% said yes, if Obamacare was abolished, we cut foreign aid, paid down the national debt and quit giving so much money to poor people.

Asked when they first heard of Iran, 50% said during the hostage crisis in the late 70's and 50% cited Flock of Seagulls 80's hit, "I Ran."

Asked whether they personally knew any Iranians, 50% said yes and 50% asked if Greeks counted.

Asked to identify the Straits of Hormuz, 50% described it as a strategic waterway between the Gulf of Oman and the Persian Gulf while 50% said it was non-queer Iraniacs (sic).

Asked what Iran was previously known as, 50% said Persia, while 25% said Old Iran and 25% said Ayatollahville.

Asked if they feared an attack on the U.S. by Iran, 50% said no, while 50% could not answer because they were hiding under their beds.

Asked to name the president of Iran, 50% said Ahmadinejad, while 50% said "some towel head."

Asked whether they would enlist to fight in Iran, 50% said they would not be willing, while 50% said they had something on the stove.

©2011 Kona Lowell

No comments:

Post a Comment