Boise, Idaho. The Boise State Broncos Athletic Department is reeling from today's announcement by NCAA officials that the school's obnoxiously blue football field must be painted green, like a normal, non-psychotic gridiron.
Said one NCAA official, John Spong, "The electric blue field, combined with the garish blue and orange uniforms, is causing many of our middle-aged attendees to suffer LSD flashbacks. We cannot have spectators attempting to fly out of their seats into crowds below. We are also having an increase in projectile vomiting due to nausea among younger spectators. This is intolerable, even in Boise."
Chris Petersen, Broncos head coach, said he thought the colors blue and orange went great together and said it was not his fault some of the spectators got hold of some bad acid back in the day.
Boise State officials said they were willing to compromise with the NCAA.
"How about paisley?" Peterson suggested.
© 2011 Kona Lowell