Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Primarying Obama

Austin, TX. As is constantly reported, President Obama's base is not only deeply disappointed with his performance, but so very angry that talk about running primary candidates to oppose him is gaining momentum. Both Dr. Cornell West and habitual presidential candidate Ralph Nader have lent their voices to this growing chorus of opposition and are demanding challengers arise.

We are here at the Cactus Cafe Bar at the UT campus in Austin, Texas, to talk to some of those who feel that primarying President Obama is critical for our democracy.

"Yes, I think we should primary him!" says freshman Chad "Che" Smallknuckles, "Gitmo is still open! The only thing that is going to wake this country up is putting the Republicans back in office. When 32 million people have their new health care revoked, maybe they will pay attention. It'll be blood in the streets, man. I'm ready. Mom's got enough food stored in our basement to last a month!"

"Being a lesbian, I'm really upset about DOMA. There's no difference between the parties," says sophomore Wendy Bliss, "So what if the Republicans pass a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage? I'm still going to be gay. Duh."

"Yeah, so the Repugs get in and they bust all the unions. Big fucking deal!" says Seth Wankerstein, "We don't have unions in Texas. Hey, I'm late for my Socialist Workers meeting."

"Obama's an Uncle Tom," avers sophomore LaMont Mfume Johnson, "He's keeping the black man down! At least the Republicans are honest racists. So what if they want to repeal civil rights legislation? They've got to get it past the Supreme Court! How are you going to do that?"

"The parties are exactly the same," states Heather Stroker, "Okay, so the GOP wants to end abortion and stuff. So what? I only do oral."

"I'm voting Green," states part-time freshman Moon Opossum Batschitz, "It's my favorite color."

© 2011 Kona Lowell 

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