Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Reagan to Run for President in 2012

Washington, DC. RNC Chairman Reince Priebus announced this morning that the GOP has decided to make the only logical move left to them in winning back the White House in 2012.

"After weighing our options, we have decided to run the corpse of Ronald Reagan. We need a candidate that the people can really get behind and even though he's dead, he's better than what we've got."

Asked how the dead president would fare in the debates, Priebus responded, "Well, he would do better than Perry. We plan to have a really good picture of him on the coffin and recordings of his voice which will repeat 'There you go again,' 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help you' and 'I paid for this microphone.' That should cover just about anything."

Commenting from his perch at The Weekly Standard, Bill Kristol responded to the news by saying he thought it was a great idea and that with a dead Reagan there would be no chance of him raising taxes or the debt ceiling again.

"Although he might want to invade Grenada one more time. We'll just have to keep him in his box."

© 2011 Kona Lowell 

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