Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Yesterday, Senate Republicans blocked a FEMA disaster relief package worth 7 billion dollars for the hard-hit East Coast states. Minority Leader Harry Reid, looking stern and angry in his jet black tutu, scolded the Republicans for not allowing the measure to come to a vote. Eric Cantor, who has insisted frequently that disaster relief to stricken states should be offset with spending cuts, appeared to soften his stance.

"We are not without sympathy for those who are the victims of these horrible natural disasters," Cantor said. "All we want is complete and total control of all branches of government, an end to all regulations on businesses, DADT reinstated, Roe v Wade overturned, a few amendments removed from the Constitution and the immediate resignation of President Obama."

Reid had no further comment, but an aide stated, "I think we can work with that."

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