Monday, October 17, 2011

Herman Cain: "Just Kidding!"

Washington, DC. Presidential hopeful Herman Cain is now claiming that his plan to electrocute people crossing the border illegally was only a joke.

"That's a joke," Cain said on NBC's "Meet the Press." "I've also said America needs to get a sense of humor. That was a joke, OK."

This walkback comes in response to the outrage expressed over Cain's recent comments Saturday at a rally in Tennessee when Cain stated, "When I'm in charge of the fence, we going to have a fence. It's going to be 20 feet high. It's going to have barbed wire on the top. It's going to be electrocuted, electrified," Cain said. "And there's going to be a sign on the other side that says it will kill you."

"That's not a serious plan," Cain said Sunday to David Gregory, "What I really want is to dig some of those tiger pits like we had in Vietnam, you know, with the big sharp sticks in them with poison on the tips. We could dig them under trees, and hang pinatas from the branches. Then when the Mexicans went to hit the pinatas, boom. You know? And then we would of course position snipers behind fake taco stands to pick off any who didn't fall into the hole. Then of course the predator drones would mop up any who managed to get past the snipers."

"Don't you think that some people might see that as a bit harsh?" responded Gregory.

"No, David, I don't think so. The American people want solutions. But we could just fill the Rio Grande with alligators, piranhas and small personnel mines. I just thought the tiger pits were less messy. You can just fill them in when you're done."

"And how did you come up with those funny lyrics to John Lennon's Imagine, Mr Cain?"

© 2011 Kona Lowell 

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