Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Perry Stands by 16th Century Revolution Date

Austin, TX. A beleaguered Governor Rick Perry today was standing firm on his statement at a Dartmouth fraternity house last night following his lackluster debate performance. When asked about states' rights, Perry had said,  "Our Founding Fathers never meant for Washington, D.C. to be the fount of all wisdom. As a matter of fact they were very much afraid of that because they'd just had this experience with this far-away government that had centralized thought process and planning and what have you, and then it was actually the reason that we fought the revolution in the 16th century was to get away from that kind of onerous crown if you will."

Many pundits and some smart people saw this as yet another gaff, but Governor Perry adamantly denied this.

"I'm Scottish. I was referring to the Scottish Rebellion of 1567 in which Scotland's Protestant Lords raised an army and, at Carberry Hill, took the Queen, Mary Queen of Scots, prisoner for her offensive lifestyle and flagrant Catholicism. So fuck you."

© 2011 Kona Lowell 


  1. Just one after another. He's catching up to Palin and Bachman.