Las Vegas, NV. As befitting Vegas, the fireworks were certainly non-stop in this, the 37th GOP debate tonight. Here's a recap of some of the most dramatic moments before the ambulances arrived.
6:15 Romney displays visible resentment at Perry continually calling him "Morm" instead of Mitt.
6:19 Herman Cain defends his 999 Plan by talking about different kinds of fruit.
6:21 Romney reminds Perry again that is name is Mitt, not Morm.
6:24 Cain defends his 999 Pan by talking about different kinds of vegetables.
6:26 Perry calls Romney "Morm" again.
6:29 Newt Gingrich says something about Nazis and Islam and Reagan.
6:31 Michelle Bachmann suggests that Iranians have infiltrated the House of Representatives.
6:33 Perry pees on Romney's shoe. Romney punches Perry in the nose.
6:35 Dr Ron Paul refuses to stop Perry's nose bleed on the grounds that it would be infringing on his rights.
6:37 Cain defends his 999 Plan by talking about different kinds of fish.
6:39 Rick Santorum comes out on national TV in the hopes of getting the Log Cabin Republican vote.
6:41 Bachmann screams "Iranian!" at Santorum and begins stabbing him with a pencil.
6:42 Paul refuses to stop Santorum's bleeding on the grounds that it would be government interference.
6:44 Cain defends his 999 Plan by talking about different kinds of rodents.
6:46 Bachmann is finally subdued with a tranquilizer dart.
6:50: Perry kicks Romney in the balls. Romney looks puzzled.
6:53 Santorum stage dives into the crowd and disappears.
6:57 Cain defends his 999 Plan by talking about different kinds of trees.
7:01 Anderson Cooper pulls his own head off.
7:03 CNN brings in John King to finish moderating the debate.
7:06 Gingrich talks about the importance of faith and marriage.
7:07 Gingrich struck and killed by a rare indoor lightning bolt.
7:09 Cain electrocuted by his lapel mic while defending his 999 Plan by talking about different kinds of marsupials.
7:13 Romney accidentally stabs Perry in the eye with an ice pick, killing him instantly. Then baptizes him.
7: 15 Ron Paul has apparently died of natural causes.
7:16 CNN's David Gergen declares Romney the winner of the debate. John King still thinks Perry might come back to life. Wolf Blitzer reminds them that Huntsman was not at the debate and is therefore still alive. A CNN viewer poll shows Romney holding steady at 23%.
© 2011 Kona Lowell
This is brilliant. I had to come back and read it again because I needed the laugh. I really wish more debates were like this.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Anne! Exploding podiums would be nice.
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